A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

What's worse than taking a bite in an apple and finding a worm in it? Taking a bite and finding half a worm.

What did the fat guy say after his weight-reduction surgery? I'm gonna sue the clown pants out of McDonalds

A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

What did the dancing amphibious landing craft say to the carrot faced caterpillar? wanna get in its cold

Why doesn't it rain on Sundays? It does.

What is the same between a turtle and an eagle? They both fly, apart from the turtle.

What's a black guys favourite thing to eat? Food.

Jews

What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? One is a type of small aquatic craft, and the other is a human being who practices Judaism.

Roses are red Violets are red Bushes are red Why's my garden on fire?

why couldn't three people walk? they were a part of the human centipede.

Bean.

Why wasn't the man able to see his son? He got run over by a train. Knock knock Who's there? The man. He was kidding about being run over.

Knock, Knock Who's there It's me open up the D#### door it's me open up the D#### door, who? just open the door this is not a fricken knock knock joke.

whats green and falls from trees, pool tables.

What did tarzan say when he saw the elephants? Here come the elephants

How do you make transportation in Harlem easier? Fix the roads and put in more stoplights.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, Some don't.

Why did the dyslexic chicken cross the toad? Because the toad mocked his dyslexia, and the chicken does not tolerate rude bastard toads.

Why did the condom drive over his pet mac and cheese? Because his uncle was not george bush.

Your momma is so old that she might die soon!

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw 'em.

What did Little Jimmie say to his mom when he got home frome school? Nothing his moms dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...