How do you tell the difference between a bomb and an Asian? One blows up.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's the biggest Jenga game? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A guy walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out because he is only 19 years old.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Q: What's soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did the chicken cross the road?

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Knock, knock! Who's there? Mary Mary who? Mary Smith.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

why didnt the man go to the wedding? he wasnt invited.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why couldn't the little girl swing? She didn't have any limbs.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Whats black and white and musty? A nuns pussy because it never gets used.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

man, i read a lot but the are some words i can pronounce

thumb_up thumb_down -36

what did batman say to robin before they got in the car get in the car

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Jennifer Kim... having a boyfriend!

thumb_up thumb_down -38

SEX

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why did the Mexican jump of the roof? Because he had a serious meth addiction that was destroying his family and he could not live with the awful things he did to get his fix.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why did Marilyn Manson surgically remove 2 ribs from his body? To suck his own penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

A man walks into a bar. Since he was only moving at a slow walking pace, he was fine, no further events worth noting occured.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

thumb_up thumb_down -40

A genie walks into a bar. The bartender asks for three wishes. The genie says "okay". The bartender says "I wish I was the richest person in the world." The genie says "okay." Then He woke up

thumb_up thumb_down -40

knock, , knock , who's there the gas man the gas man who ? the gas man who is gonna turn your gas off !

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Your mother is so fat, she appeals to my secret fetish.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What did the snoop dog have for breakfast? Weed

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops