Why can't Helen Keller drive? Cars were invented after her death, so she never had the opportunity to learn.

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how did the family die? They were shot in the head.

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What did the piece of macaroni say as they boy was about to eat him? Nothing. Foods are uneducated and illiterate therefore unable to speak, and went into the boy's mouth without a trouble.

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Your grandma and your mom drove of a cliff, who survived? Both of them they didn't drive off a cliff

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men

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Hey, look over there! It's ur mom!

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Roeses are purple violets are green WTF u just stabbed me.

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DING DONG! Did you have to ring the doorbell? You just ruined a good knock knock joke!

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Dracula." "Dracula who?" He pulls his cape up to his face and says, "May the force be with you,"

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How do you kill a dwarf? You put rope around his neck and attach the other end to a concrete slab. Proceed to then through him in the ocean.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a person of the jewish faith and a pizza is delicious food.

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What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you? Someone else's cheese.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she was clumsy. Nevertheless the accident was minor and she did not injure the arms that she had.

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Whats black and can multitask? My IPod you racist!

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Why did the little girl cross the road??? To get away from the strange man

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, Ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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women's rights

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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What did the pear say to the apple? Fred, you delusions are getting worse and i'm getting a divorce.

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An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

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A fat cat sits on the ground staring up at a fence. The fence stares down at the cat and laughs.

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How many men do you have to have sex with to show that you're gay? But, I'm a woman!

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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