What did the prison inmate get for Christmas? A warm chair to sit in

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A: My dog has no nose. B: How does it smell? A: Terrible.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the frog cross the street? To make babies

thumb_up thumb_down -20

how many baby's does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have narcolepsy.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A guy walks into a bar with a Donkey and a jar full of pennies. He walks up to the bartender and orders ten shots of whiskey. He was found dead the next morning from erotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Just so you are warned here folks, some of the jokes down here are really nasty, like you know... Antijokes... But luckily you got my family friendly stories about sex, incest, panties, grenades, dripping Meows, yeah... Regular family show stuff... IT HAPPENS TO US ALL! Right? Please tell me right? Riiight? Right? Yes? Phew, okay, for a moment I actually thought you where gonna tell me I was normal...

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: Why did the purple cantalope eat the curtains at midnight? A: Sassafrass.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why do so many Koreans go to medical school? Practicing medicine is a rewarding and respected career.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I like my coffee the same way I like my women: without a penis!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Ben: Something smells like updog. Jenny: What's updog? Ben: Nothin' much

thumb_up thumb_down -20

three men walked into a bar, two walked out... One walked into a metal pole and died

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did Winston Churchill cross the road? Grave robbery has become a huge problem lately in the United Kingdom.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

so a girl asks a guy: "if a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" the guy responds: "trees dont grow in the kitchen, so you shouldnt be worried about it."

thumb_up thumb_down -20

69

thumb_up thumb_down -20

The only difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer is the taste.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Robert Muldoon: "Clever girl..." Velociraptor: "I appreciate your compliment, but I will still eat your face."

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's worse than getting dumped? Being molested by a crazy hobo

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why didn't the young child commiserate the death of his grandparents after they were simultaneously crippled by a tremendous avalanche whilst skiing? He didn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why was the Mexican running through the desert? A group of bandits had kidnapped his family, raped his sister, drowned his mother, decapitated his father, and now they were coming for him. They are coming...

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why can't Lake Mossman find his penis? Because he's a fat ass, and he doesn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what this: b a dead one of these: p

thumb_up thumb_down -20

y do black people always have nightmares because we killed the one who had a dream

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapos.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops