An owl and a squirrel watch a farmer walk by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing because owls are not capable of human speech. The owl then eats the squirrel because the owl is a bird of prey.

doctor,doctor my eyesight is getting worse, you are certainly right, this is the post office

Why did the baby's bedroom smell so bad? The mom farted.

People just dont care about me, yesterday I got a coconut in my head and... AWWWW thats horrible! Yeah I... So did the coconut make it?

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is dead, and thereby lacks the necessary motor control.

Knock knock whos there telephone telephone who telephone refiridgerator

What did the Jew say to the German? He said hello.

What's brown, no one likes and has had a bad history? Dog poop

This is Heading 1

What did the tree say to the other tree?....nothing cause trees can't talk!

There are two kinds of people in this world: those that finish their sentences

Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? It got hit by a stone. Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by the first Koala. Why did the third Koala fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game. Why did the Kangaroo die? It was hit by three falling Koalas.

Whats the difference between a Corvette and a dead bag of babies. -there's not a Corvette in my garage

Q: Why did the man cross the road? A: Cause he felt like it.

What's worst than the Holocaust? No Wi-Fi

Knock! Knock! Who's There? The Police. Open the damn door. Nobody Is Home.

you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

wots brown and smells like shite shite

What's worse than finding the Holocaust in your apple? Nothing

why did the kid get home from school early cause he was home from school..

Is everything funnier when u have a vagina.

Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

Kids are cheering about the confetti at a birthday party, the mom says the twin towers just collapsed.

Q. Why did the boy throw up on the bus? A. All his friends around him died in the accident