my gramma died

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Why did the burglar get arrested? For beating an egg

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I take the "the" out of Psychotherapist

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When is it unlucky to see a black cat? When you are a mouse.

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My penis is big... not.

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A duck walks into a bar. Then he walks out.

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Where do you find a vegetable? Where you left him

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You are being like super pervert now, I would never ever even try weed, cocaine is the real deal, you know I do not mean that. Anyway does it work on everyone?

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Think of a number between 0 and 2 That's how many times you're going to die in this life

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A man walked into a pole barn oh wait I meant a pole bar so it actually hurt.

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What did the penis say to the vagina? Cover me, im going in.

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A convict is ripping out stop signs .. and a police comes out of no where and screams "What are you doing?!" The guys says Ripping up stop signs..

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Yo mama looks so much like a cardboard box, my kindergarten class graduated.

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Q: What did Hitler say to the Rabbi? A: I don't like you.

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Why is Osama bin laden so hard to find? Because he is dead.

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What do a spoon and a platypus have in common? Nothing.

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Why did Timmy drop his ball? Because he was hit by a bus. A) Knock knock? B) Who's there? C) Not Timmy

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What happened to Dave when he walked across the road? He got hit by a car and died... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Dave...

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How many light bulbs? 1

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I spilled spot remover on my dog, now hes gone.

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What Is big, round, and looks like gaben. Gaben!

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Why did the Indian homosexual shoot his dog? Because it was old

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what happens when you and a 6 foot black guy get stuck on an island? hang him by a tree and make shelter

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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