A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse. The horse walks out of the bar kicking over some chairs and scaring some people because he is a horse and horses do not belong in public atmospheres.

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Man comes home and sees another dying man lying in the center of his house. He yells at the man, "HEY I DONT KNOW YOU" The man on the floor replies, "That's funny, my family used to say the same thing"

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Whats is worse than a dog bite? A shark bite. Whats worse than a shark bite? The Holocaust.

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What is the black kid down the street getting for his birthday? Well first of all, his name is Pat. And he asked his parents for an Xbox that he will likely receive, and I assume a variety of other gifts from friends and family.

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JOHN to MARY: Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet So are you MARY to JOHN: Roses are red Violets are blue Who are you? JOHN to MARY: Roses are red I'm your husband MARY to JOHN: No! JOHN to MARY: WHAT??? MARY to JOHN: Ex Awkward silence. Mary moves out the next day.

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What does DNA stand for? The National Association of Dislexics.

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Bugs dance, so do ants, Oh my glob it’s Adventure Time!

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What happened to the old lady with a hat? She fell down

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who can beat up superman doomsday, duh, he killed him

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Why did Jimmy cry? His mom raped him.

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Why did the little boy grow up to be a homosexual man? He didn't find the female reproductive system sexually appealing

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I have sexdaily. I mean dyslexic. Fcuk!

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My friend and I were telling jokes the other day. Ha said " I've run out of dead baby jokes!" to which I replied " I've run out of dead babies."

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Why did the math student refuse to do his geometry homework? Straight lines do not exist, so there is no real world application to any geometric shape.

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a duck, a mexican, a camel, a jew, a duck, a moose, an asian, an ostrich, a turtle, an elephant, a scorpion, two vampires, a pokemon, your mom, Stephen Hawkings, a bird, a plane, mario, your family, and a plumber walk into a bar. They have cancer, AIDS, disabilties, diabetes, herpes, siezures, retardation, death in their families, drug addiction, no arms or legs, no home, no money, racial segregation, and have been raped. A combination of which is worse than the holocaust and three bee stings and a rope that fails.

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how do u talk to a person you like go up and talk to them

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how do you know when you're a man? massive erection.

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Three men walked into a bar. You'd think one of them would of ducked?

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What do you call a woman between two houses? Her name.

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Nuneaton..

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Whats the same between a baby and pizza? their both edible

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist that doesn't believe in god? His disorder has no effect on his belief system.

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Q: What did the skeleton order when he walked into a bar? A: A beer and a mop.

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What are the two biggest jokes in College Football? Auburn and Florida! Roll Tide!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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