How do you make an electrician cry? You kidnap him and his mother, tie them both to chairs in your garage, and force him to watch you stab his mother repeatedly in the face while laughing and licking up her blood and tears. Then cut his arms and legs off, lock him in a cage with his mothers body, and go in there everyday and eat a delicious meal while watching him starve to death next to his dead mother.

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Why did the cookie die Because a fat kid was hungry

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What happened to the white girl who dropped her ice cream? She bought another one.

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all your base are belong to mark

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Why did Jimmy through a glass at spouse? Jimmy was an abusive husband who had a tendancy to drink too much.

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I was flying in the sky but lost control and crashed. I woke up on the floor.

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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What time is it when a cow walks into your house? The time that your mother arives.

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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Hello? Hi. Who is this? Yo mom. Your not my mom. Im the Irish man that did your mom.

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what do you call the man making meth in his basement? the police to stop inappropriate behavior from reaching the children of society.

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How many people does it take to kill the president? A number

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What happens when you die? Your body gets decomposed by bacteria

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what did the homeless man get for christmas.......................nothing

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Incorrect. Violets are violet. DERP!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it got hit by a truck before it got to the other side.

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Knock Know! Come in!

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Knock Knock! Who’s there? Alligator! I'm positively sure that Alligators are unable to talk, now please tell me who this is before I call the police.

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What do you call a three toed 9 foot man. His name.

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selena gomez & justin beiber go in space. selena says im hotter than the sun. the way she knows this information is that she is near the sun at this time justin beiber has already drifted off in space.

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what happened to the baseball player who couldnt throw? he was very unsuccessful, as throwing is the most important skill of the game

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It wa Jerry's first day of kindergarten He pulled out a .44 magnum and shot himself under the chin where he was instantly dead... Yes, dead

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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Whats the first thing you do when your grandmother gets hit by a toaster? Buy a new toaster.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops