"Knock Knock," "Whos There?" "The Pizza Guy" "I hate pizza."

Roses are red Violets are blue God makes things beautiful... What happened to you

"Why the long face?" The bartender asked. "I was born with a severe cleft palette and a jaw deformity. The surgery lets me eat and drink but my parents couldn't afford the cosmetic part of the surgery, the scarring got worse as I grew older. Can I have a beer please?" I replied.

4 people: A pilot, Bill Gates, the Pope, and a little kid, are all on an airplane with only 3 parachutes, when the plane's engine explodes and starts to go down. But the pilot makes an emergency landing at a nearby airport and everybody is okay.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Not again!"

A panda walks into a bar. He eats but then is tranquilized and taken back to the zoo.

What did the def blind mute kid get for christmas? He doesnt know either

What is the answer to the question of life? Over 9000

Why was Helen Keller a terrible driver? She was a woman.

Why did Santa go to a rap concert? Because Santa was a rapper

What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

Why didn't the oven turn on? Because nothing turned it on.

There are two men named Dan. The first man says, "Hello, my name is Dan." The second man says, "Hello, my name is also Dan."

roses are red violets are blue just telling you in case you didnt know

What did the girl say when she was hit by a train? Nothing she exploded on impact

I can count to potato.

How do you kill off a zombie apocalypse? Laser vision

How to you scare a paraplegic? Point a gun at him.

One day a priest walked into a prison to bring lost souls to the Lord.....Not his best idea.

How many women does it take to arrange my new Ethan Allen furniture? Just one, I was told it was divorce present. She took it with her.

A horse, an apple, a leprechaun and a black man walk into a bar. They sit down and order drinks. The bartender looks at them and say "what is this, a joke?"

A man meets the girl of his dreams. Too bad the man will die in 3 days due to terminal cancer

Why did the man stop eating? Because he took an arrow to the knee.

What did little jonny do when he broke his leg? He proceeded to brake into tears due to the excruciating pain caused by his unfortunate injury.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...