A duck walks in wal-mart and buys stuff. The cashier ask how hes going to pay and the duck said just put it on my bill.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why could'nt the Jew drink milk? He was laptose intolerant.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do a blond and a jar of marmalade have in common? Nothing, they are completely different.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why is 5 the best number? Because it's alive!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock Knock who's there? Steve Steve who? Steve. I already told you my name.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly my dick down your throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a fat priest? Obese

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man buys some expensive lingerie for his wife on the occasion of their 10th wedding anniversary. After a lovely candlelight dinner at home, he tells her to close her eyes at which point he retrieves the gift box containing her anniversary present. Thoroughly exited, she rips open the box and takes out the beautiful garment, holding it up to the light in wide-eyed amazement. Her husband gives her a suggestive wink and says "would you like to join me in the bedroom to try it on?" To which she replies, "I AIN'T YER WHORE!"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I can't make my mind about the debate on legalisation of marijuana. Some days I think it's a good thing. Somes days I think it's a bad thing. And some days, I don't think about it at all and I just think it's a very nice day.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why is Taylor sad? Because she's the middle of a human centipede.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the boy eat for dinner? Shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the black man begin to cry when his friend aimed a gun at a watermelon? Because if he were to shoot it would be a waste of perfectly good food.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man walks into a bar. He then walks out of the bar a while after. He then goes home and goes to bed. And then he goes to sleep. And then in an odd time travel paradox,a T-Rex arrives from the past and kills him and his entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

You tell me. I have amnesia.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Black people stink of shite!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the blonde confused? Because she had 10 second memory loss.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? The parking lot was across the street from KFC.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Bob: Your mama's so fat, she rolled over four quarters and made a dollar! Todd: YOur mama's so fat, here's a picture of her tied up in my basement. Todd wins the insult war.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What happens when a fat guy falls ? Ohio has another earthquake.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man walks into a bar. He has a serious drinking problem and is destroying his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call it when you have sex with a black man? Sex

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops