Bitch please, you're adopted as well.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Two penguins are sitting in the bathtub, the first one says to the second one "pass the soap." The other penguin says," what do I look like a radio?"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

???????????? ???????????? ???? ???? ???? ???? ???? A wild EXEGGUTOR appeared!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Some jokes rhyme, But this one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man says to a boy. I bet you I can jump over that mountain. The boy wins the bet because it is a physical impossibility to jump over a mountain.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats worse than getting a parking ticket? The Bubonic Plague

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what did the special ed kid get on his iq test? drool

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q) A black man and a white man are playing a basketball game, who will win? A) The one who scores the most points.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what is the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did the kid drop his sandwich? his hand was cut off

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q. Why do Italian men have mustaches? A. So they can look like their mothers.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the dog eat poop?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

where was the heart of ocean found. madelain mcanns urn

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A Frenchman, an Irishman, and a Russian walk into a bar. The Frenchman orders a glass of wine, the Irishman orders a whisky, and the Russian, who prefers to be sober, orders a glass of water. They have an all-around pleasant night, yet they leave the bar upset. Why? A severe water contamination in the town resulted in the Russian man consuming a fatal dose of arsenic.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: why is halloween scary? A: because your there!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Andy: Mom, I wish I was a dinosaur. Mom: Aw, that's cute! Why? Andy: Because dinosaurs do not suffer from terminal pancreatic cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

your mommas so fat i like fat cows is she home?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What happened to the seal that walked into the zoo? Well nothing because seals can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

police are looking for max 'cheesehead' harrison

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How you your turn a trashcan into a semi-automatic AK-47? You don't. But ask the irishman who just said "hello" to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

your mothers so blonde she has yellow hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme but this one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops