Why didn't the oven turn on? Because nothing turned it on.

Why did the witch stay up all night with a broken broomstick? Because she couldn't sweep.

What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

How old is george washington? anyway thats not the point your pregnant

Little Justin's bike has a flat tire has a flat tire. He asks his dad to inflate it. "Sure Justin I can fix that for you." Said his father. But he overinflates the tire, causing the tire to explode and ignite the chemicals. The house burns to the ground, killing Justin and his parents. The fire then spreads and the hole city burns. 50,000 people die.

Knock-knock. Who's there? Doorbell repairman. ym

A neutron walked into a bar and asked "how much for a drink?" The bartender did not reply because a neutron is so small he didn't notice that it even entered.

A black man, an Asian man, and an American man are in a car. Who is driving? The black man, it's his car.

Where do five gay guys walk? Where ever they want to. This is a free country, where people are free to travel as the please, no matter what their sexual orientation may be

What did little jonny do when he broke his leg? He proceeded to brake into tears due to the excruciating pain caused by his unfortunate injury.

What do you call a black person on a bike? A cyclist.

What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

What's the difference between Donald Trump and a refrigerator? Open a refrigerator and you will find food, typically refrigerated food like milk, eggs, you know, stuff like that.... When you open Donald Trump you will be charged with murder.

What do you call a sheep on a trampoline? Disorientated.

What do yo get when you cross an insomniac,an agnostic, and a dyslexic. A very troubled man.

A Man Walks into a Bar with a Dog. He is blind, and is promptly guided to his seat by other patrons.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Not again!"

What is the answer to the question of life? Over 9000

4 people: A pilot, Bill Gates, the Pope, and a little kid, are all on an airplane with only 3 parachutes, when the plane's engine explodes and starts to go down. But the pilot makes an emergency landing at a nearby airport and everybody is okay.

What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

"Why the long face?" The bartender asked. "I was born with a severe cleft palette and a jaw deformity. The surgery lets me eat and drink but my parents couldn't afford the cosmetic part of the surgery, the scarring got worse as I grew older. Can I have a beer please?" I replied.

Why did Santa go to a rap concert? Because Santa was a rapper

Why was Helen Keller a terrible driver? She was a woman.

A panda walks into a bar. He eats but then is tranquilized and taken back to the zoo.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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