Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

I was at work today and whilst staring at my beautiful colleague I realised how hard it had got. So I quit

The audience was ready, the stage was set, as soon as the show ended, the actors applauded towards the audience shouting ENCORE! The audience paid and went home, then they suddenly went... HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS SCENARIO!? They cared so much about one another, that they wanted to fall in love with each other. Now that is true love that is not love people! Nerometal (Ironically my name is Nero, I bet the Neronism guys name is Dwayne Maskdork or something, seriously...)

A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

Why did the black person eat fried chicken Because fried chicken tends to be an abundant food in the African American community and that was the quickest and cheapest weekend afternoon food source nearest to his house. It is also found in many other communities throughout the country and even the world. Oh yeah, he was hungry

Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

Why could't Jerry go to school on the Wednesday? Because he died on the Monday.

why did the chicken cross the road it was being chased by the man from the chicken slaughter house.

I was once a hamster.

what do you call 10 dead babys lunch

Blah blah something about Ryan Dunn.

A kid wanted to change the channel... One thing leads to another.

What happened when man put a dog in the blender? He got arrested for Animal abuse

What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

Why are aspirins white? Because the creator of aspirin didn't feel it necessary to color the pills.

A man goes to a doctor and says , "My arm hurts in 3 places." the doctor says, "Dont go to those places.

What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish.

why did the plane crash the pilot was a loaf of bread

why did the chicken cross the road. to get to the other side. but it didnt. ROADKILL

The blondes on the opposite part of the lake is a pretty good joke

Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

whats the difference between virgin and a porn star?? A virgin hasn't got aids.

PSP... Is a cat... you can throw against the wall.

What's brown, no one likes and has had a bad history? Dog poop

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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