What was the first thing the mother did when her baby was born? Weep. The baby was a was a stillborn.

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Knock Knock Not Yet

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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How do you make an elf sad? Murder his family.

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these are shit

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A fish swims into a wall. It does not say anything, seeing as fish do not possess vocal chords and therefore are incapable of speech.

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-What did the duck say to Federico Costa nearby the phonebox in a rainy day? -Quack

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Flop dog

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Hillary Clinton

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I can't hear music. I am a sentence.

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whats the same about a spider and a grape? they both have eight legs, except for the grape.

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A policeman walks into a bar. He goes inside to greet his friend who happens to be the bartender. Another man walks into the bar. This man is a regular customer and goes to the bar almost every other night. The policeman leaves and goes back on duty.

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What do you call a man with a gun? An accident waiting to happen.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he's stupid.

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roses are red violets are blue just telling you in case you didnt know

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is a highly unlikely circumstance due to the fact that there are no wild chickens and most chicken coops are nowhere near a road

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why is 6 afraid of 7? because 6 is a capitalist and 7 is a communist

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A fat guy runs a marathon. He dies of obesity and dehydration.

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What is worse than seeing your whole family die? Leaving your wallet on the bus.

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Q: What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A Good Start.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I said so.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops