What's green and looks like a red apple? A green apple

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If the opposite of Pro is Con, whats the opposite of progress?

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A man is lonely and calls a hooker. She goes to his house, pleasures him, and then demands 42 million dollars. The man shoots the whore and throws her body into a river.

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Why did the man commit suicide? Because he felt he had nothing left to live for

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm a dog.

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What did Abraham lincoln do after getting assassinated? Certainly not riding a bike thats for sure.

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What state is round on both ends and high in the middle? Ocoloradoo.

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What did johnny say when he fell down the stairs? Nothing he snapped his neck

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this is not an anti joke

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Why wouldn't Michael J. Fox make a good Sniper? Because he has no military experience.

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a blond was walking across a river thinking how do I get across. when she saw another blond. and asked how do I get to the other side and the other said your already on the other side.

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Seargent: Quick seal off all the exits so he cant get away. Private: OK 2 minutes later Private: He escaped sir Seargent: What, how Private: through one of the entrances

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

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Two men are sitting in a pub. One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.' The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidize her drug habit.'

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What's sad about 4 people in a Lamborgini going over a cliff? It was my car.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage.

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What is the difference between a deer and a child in africa? Why does it matter? They're both being hunted.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? monkey see monkey do why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? it lost its footing why did the girl fall down? she was hit by four monkeys and a refridgerator

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Man 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Man2: Are you a tree? Man1: no.

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yo momma so fat i abuse my wife

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Not a Jehovah's Witness, let me in!

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how do you make your mom mad? mushroom stamp her face

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Why couldn't Sally climb up the ladder? Because she was a paraplegic.

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What do you get when you mix red and blue? Gang violence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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