Who is blue and smells like green paint? Matt Daly

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I just flew here from Cleveland, and boy are my arms tired! The people on either side of me were hogging the armrests, so I had to kind of tuck my arms up behind my head and it was very uncomfortable.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Hurricane Katrina

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A teacher, a consturction worker, and an army general are on an airplane. The pilot tells them the plane has too much weight, and if they don't each drop one item then the plane will crash. Realizing one item each is obviously not enough weight to throw off, the teacher and the construction worker team up and throw the army genral off the plane. They land safely, and live the rest of their life haunted by their vile actions.

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Q: what animal didnt get on Noah's ark in pairs? A: worms. they got on in apples.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? because she was SHITFACED!!!!

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A dyslexic agnostic insomniac stays up at night wondering if there's a dog.

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what did the asain have for dinner? A: rice

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If life gives you lemons, throw them at people.

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Timmy eats 32 cookies and eats 30 of them. What does he have? Type 2 Diabetes.

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- i send you a friend request on facebook - okay

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.

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What's 1+1? 69.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf or bread. why did the plane fall apart in mid air? The engineer was a loaf of bread Why didn't the plane take off? because it was delayed.

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What's more funny than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed like a clown.

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what is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Pizza's don't scream when there in then oven.

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roses are red violets are blue i forgot what i was gonna say my dad is an engineer

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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If you walked into a grocery store right in the middle of Cuba what won't you see? The missing Malaysian MH370 Boeing.

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Your Mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What do call a fly with no legs? Dead

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Romeny or Obama? Obamney

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Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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