Yo momma so fat that they've diagnosed her with type 2 diabetes and she has an extremely elevated risk of heart disease. You should really encourage her to try and eat better and get more exercise.

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Tom and Phill are eating ice cream Tom challenges Phill to a contest to see who can eat their ice cream in one bite Tom finishes his in two bites Phil in one Then he looks like he got a brain freeze Tom notices and says "You idiot: you got brain freeze!" Phill turns around and says "No, I have a brain tumor."

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What did the man say to the woman he was in love with? Sure, I understand and I'm okay with being just friends.

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What did the cow do when it got run over by a tractor? It died.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Some jokes rhyme, But this one doesn't

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What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A niggarette

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whats orange, green and has a treadmill attached to it? a cantaloupe, i lied about the treadmill.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A child walk's into a bar. And gets sexually abused.

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women rights

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Your at your local street corner and find a woman, the fact that she has balls dose not stop you from inviting her into your car.

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what do you call a retarded kid? jack kamstra

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Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because it escaped from the farm.

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How do you kill a polar bear? You melt the polar ice caps and take a rope and choke it till it is out cold. You then put a plastic bag over its head and throw it in the water.

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Why can't Helen Kellen drive? She's a woman.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and oranges? With one,you can make a delicous smoothie, but the other is just a pile of citrus fruits.

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Dad what does negligence mean? SHUT THE FUCK UP KID! I TOLD YOU TO NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN!

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Back when I was your age, we had to entertain ourselves with video games and TV.

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Why didn't the woman make sandwiches? She was making baguettes.

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What did the teacher say to the boy whose dog had just died? Haha, your dog just died.

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It's easy to take part, just type your text below! no

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What's black and white and black and white and black and white? A chessboard.

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What did the horse say to the other horse? We are both horses

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Walruses are basically saber-toothed seals. That does not affect the fact that they are awesome.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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