I never knew I was dyslexic. Then one day I showed up to a toga party dressed as a goat.

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What do you get when you cross a joke and a rhetorical question?

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The joke below is absolute shit.

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What do you call it when you kill a Jewish homosexual? Murder.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "What'll it be?" The man quietly gazes out at the other people in the bar. He continues to do this for a while, until eventually the bartender calmly taps him on the shoulder to get his attention, and the man turns to look over at him. "What can I get you today?" He asks the man. "What?" the man replies. Turns out he's deaf. Who knew?

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How many dead babies can fit in a dead horse 11

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What did the old man catch at a baseball game? Aids.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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How many Jews fit in an oven? Nein

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Why was Sally crying? Because she had a frog stapled to her face.

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You know what's funny? Clowns.

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-Hey I know something funnier than 24, ---What? -25! Hey I know something funnier than 25. ---What? -The Holocaust!

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Your momma's eyesight is so weak she needs a pair of glasses to see properly

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I'm a champion. I do what I want.

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Why do girls wear perfume? Because they smell and they're ugly

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Whats funnier than 2 dead babies? Seinfeld, and I hate Seinfeld.

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Man 1:Doctor Doctor, I've got 59 seconds to live! Man 2: This is a chemist

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Me: Why are red onions actually purple..? Dad: I don't know Sister: *sarcastic* Well, Why is it rainy in London? Me: ....Because that's the weather pattern.

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roses are red violets are blue ur family is dead and u will die too

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What does the young boy say to the gay man Hello Jacob, because he was raised to respect and treat gays equally

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was an identity thief.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a rapist.

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What did Jennifer get in her college exam? She got a C minus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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