Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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Jesus was a good guy

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not doing your Webtime on a Friday!!

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the chicken had enough of life and wanted to commit suicide due to recent tragic events such as his cheating wife, his druggie son, his prostitute daughter, losing his home, and getting fired

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What happened when the prisoner dropped the soap? He picked it up.

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What is the difference between a shark and a human? A shark is a type of fish with a full cartilaginous skeleton and a highly streamlined body and a human is the only living species in the Homo genus.

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*you're

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Guess What? What? The gludeus maximus of an avian farm bird

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Why was't the Elephant allowed on the Airplane? He didn't have a boarding pass

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you smell like crystall meth.

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How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, but she had a very muscular vagina.

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Why can't Sally use the swings? Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there?? ... Not Sally.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but his stomach was not big enough to finish. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free meal.

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How do you make a little girl laugh. You tell her something funny.

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A Duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'd like to buy some peanuts." The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't sell peanuts." The duck turns around and leaves.

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Why are Asians such bad drivers? They're not: it is a racist stereotype that is propagated by people who are so insecure that they must put others down to feel good about themselves.

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Q: Why does my arm itch? A: I got bit on the arm by a mosquito

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Q-- Why did the boy stop playing football? A -- He had to go for his tea

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whats worse than dying alone? dying with a boner.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You shove her off the bed

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Why did the monkey fall out the tree, He was dead

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Roses are red Violets are blue get down or i will shoot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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