Sure, I like all kinds of Juice. -Apple Jews -Grape Jews -Orange Jews The list goes on,,,

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Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why can't George Washington drive? Because he died!

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What's the difference between your cat and mine? Yours has legs.

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Spotto

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A man stepped on a nail. He died shortly after of lockjaw.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it wanted to get to the other side! why did the chipmunk cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

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1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

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Why did the turkey cross the road? His friend, the chicken, had just been hit by a passing car.

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What did the banker say to the other banker? We're both bankers!

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Did you hear about the mail man without a mail truck? He walked

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What rude names do you call a girl with no limbs? Anything you want they can't touch you

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Your momas so fat her doctor put her on a diet plan.

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nick biggs ate a car well his name is nick BIGGS

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An orange walks into a bar....orange you glad I didn't say banana?!?!

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THAT MAN EATS TOO MUCH. therefore he is overweight.

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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Why can't Hellen Kelller drive? Because she's a woman.

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What is a dead cat on the side of the road. A free cat.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman.

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What do you call a yelling, enraged Asian man? A fucking asshole.

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Got tired of McDonalds Jim?

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When's the best time to go to the dentist? There is no best time, it is based on personal opinion and depending whether or not you have a conflicting schedule

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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