Who saw 9/11 as a miracle? The undertakers

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what looks like a sock and goes on peoples feet? A sock

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what do you call a man with no penis? what ever his name is

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what is long black and smelly the welfare line

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Your Mum's so fat, she's going to die.

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What did Snichols do when he murdered his ex-partner who became a lesbian? The ass dance.

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Whats yellow and gives you cancer? The sun

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How do you make a mimer to speak? Shot him in both knees and cut of he's ear

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Yeah, and speaking about spiderman, I got some weird senses, when I get stressed things begin seeming slower, and gets a weird blur effect, not sure what it is, but if you know what "bullet hell video games are" Technically games where you play as a tiny spaceship and lots of bullets fly around, I was always awesome at those games as a kid, because the more stress I felt while playing, the slower my perception of time felt.

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Knock Knock. In about 10 seconds you'll be trespassing on my property, I suggest you leave immediately. Your suppose to say who's there.

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knock knock? whose there? i dont know. i dont know who? i dont know.

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Why is this funny? cause it is funny

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Yeah I was beginning to enjoy that as well, but I used "timed hypnosis" I have not seen it been coined elsewhere yet, not that I learn hypnosis anymore, I kinda teach it covertly to whoever I believe can use it responsively. "Timed hypnosis" is not really based upon a set amount of time after all time is relative, and our subconcious does know that and the subconcius understands that we did not invent time just because we made some fucking dials spin around" Now, timed hypnosis is based on a purpose, for example: "I will go into a trance until I am done teaching my new buddy how covert hypnosis works and teach her to use it subconciously" But now I made you aware of that, so you can use it consciously as well, the real magic here is that the subconcious is so much more efficient and powerful than the conscious mind that it would not even be neccesary to have a concious mind, except for one thing.

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So this beautiful woman goes to see her doctor and says "Doctor i think i have a fever." the doctor replies "I think I've got just what you need. open your mouth." The woman opened her mouth and the doctor gave her some Advil "This should help your fever. that will be $300." in shock the woman said "these prices are to high."

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your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

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Why did the child cry? It was beat up and thrown in a trashcan.

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What do you say to a horse at the vet? Good god, look at that ear infection.

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the horse walks into the bar the bartender calls the pet control

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I have down syndrome. -RDV

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What is 8===D- ? A jew with a lip piercing.

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Why did the car slow down? Becuase the driver pressed the break

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How do you count all the jews in a village? The United States Census Bureau usually has reliable data so I would start there

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Why are there so many little girls falling off swing jokes? Because you tuch youself at night.

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If Jimmy has $5, and he finds $20 on the street, how much money does Jim have? None. He was mugged by a black man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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