What did the deaf guy get for Christmas? An iTunes gift card

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what's worse than finding mommy kissing santa clause ? slave trading

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Why was the sex offender sweating in the playground? Because he was pushing his over weight son on the swing.

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There was a man workin at the supermarket, when a cow with a hat entered. He realized that it couldn't be really happening and had to be a dream. Effectively: he was dreaming. Actually, he was in jail, and his execution was scheduled for that day.

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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Why did the teacher get mad at the student? Because he ran over him with a car.

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Your mother is so obese, that when shot with a high velocity round from a handgun, the bullet is unlikely to penetrate the several layers of fat protecting her vital organs, like a fleshy kevlar vest. However, she is likely to die from infection, which is highly commom among gunshot wounds.

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A black teenager drives an Escalade His father is a prominent lawyer and his mother is a neuroscientist.

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How did the mexican cross the border? He went through border patroll, and then later became a legal citizen of North America

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How do you stop the neighbors kids from jumping the fence into your property? Molest them.

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Why was the T-Rex so bad at math? Cause it was stupid

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Why is there milk on the stairs? Did the cow leak again?

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Dave: My wife just gave birth! The baby is doing good. John: You mean doing well?

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Why did the baby fall out the window? Because the parents left the window open by the crib.

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If life throws you melons you might be dyslexic, but you also might not be.

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what did the parapelegic (limbless) kid get for his birthday? Heart failure

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what do you call a newborn baby? anything you want.

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what did the chinese guy say to the black guy? hello

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? Physical abuse.

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i got angry and i was like " i really want to kick someone" ,my friend was on the ground and shes like "you can kick me" ,and i'm like "REALLY" ,then i kicked her really hard and she cried...

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What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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What do you call it when someone walks on another person's head? It depends. Face up, fetish. Face down, hate crime.

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Why did the girl put on make-up and perfume? Because she was ugly and smelled bad.

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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