What do you call a fat person with no friends? An individual who is over the expected weight of a person their age, who finds themselves disliked by people in their s surroundings, possibly due to their weight problem, but also it may be because of any personality defects they may have, or they simply may prefer to be alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

An apple a day keeps a check next to the "I ate an apple today" box on my "what I did today" daily checklist.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I'm so hungry I could eat a well prepared meal!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A minor, her mom, her aunt and a marine went out drinking...they had a fun night

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What does Chuck Noris have under his beard? A chin

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Which is correct grammar: 'I hasn't a penis got' or 'I doesn't a penis has'? Answer: They're both wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Did you hear about the deaf kid? He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the "p" is silent

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is the opposite of Christopher Walkins? Christopher Reeves

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Hey, I'm Schrödinger, and this is crazy! But here's a sealed box... the cat lives, maybe...

thumb_up thumb_down -5

your going to die

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the rabbit jump? Because that's what rabbits do.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did the cow eat a computer? Why? Who knows

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How does a pirate get to work? His CAAAARRRR! Where does the pirate go after work? The BAAAARRRR! How does the pirate get home from the bar? A taxi. A pirate doesn't drive after consuming alcohol.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

i lost the game

thumb_up thumb_down -5

SUBway eat fresh ZOMbies eat fleash

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock. Knock. Who's there? lettuce lettuce who? Lett-uce be friends

thumb_up thumb_down -5

a pig ate a hobo, the hobo was a blind rapist from canada

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is matt dalys favorite thing in the world? penis

thumb_up thumb_down -5

titanic vs 9/11 who would win? Well the titanic backwards is a ship which saves lives and 9/11 backwards is a building on fire spitting out airplanes

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you stop a bus? You press the brake pedal, causing the brake pads to squeeze the tires. Which will slow the momentum of the bus to the point of stopping.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a blonde who tries to swim on land? - Stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops