- What's the difference between a squirrel? - It can neither fly.

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How come grilled cheese?

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If the blue man lives in the blue house, the red man lives in the red house and the green man lives in the green house, where does the orange man live? In the orange house.

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What did paul say to bill? "Hi, I'm Paul"

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What did Hellen Keller name her dog? Her parents named it Spot; Hellen Keller isn't able to speak due to her handicapped muteness.

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So this guy comes into a bar... Jizz eveywhere.

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A mans opinion.

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Q. How do you make an oil lamp turn off? A. Break it.

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What did the fish say when it was being fried? That's crazy, fish can't talk.

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What does a bartender say to almost all of his customers? May I please see your I.D.

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What did the boy do before school? Jacked off.

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Yo mamma's so fat it's a legitimate medical condition

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What's the difference between and elephant and a banana? An elephant is grey.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs is both the same.

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Five Mexicans were driving down the motorway in a Ford. Must've been a Fiesta.

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw a blonde? 3.

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When im invisible you cant see me, i know

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Q: What do you do when you meet someone new? A: You don`t know and expect me to do so? Get a life!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Your dad is so bald, that a various number of people compliment him on how well shaven his head is.

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What is the difference between a duck. One of its legs are both the same.

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What has two legs, takes away your money, and causes depression? A Democrat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The screams were loud. It was just one big fire behind him. He and his fellow chickens had been trapped. They thought they were being freed... They thought wrong. The guards herded them in and then the heat started. The fires began to rage. His friends, his allies, his brothers, were falling dead, burning, beside him. He had to escape. He did not think, only acted. Lashing out at the guard, he knocked him down and ran. He ran and ran until he could run no more, and he still kept running. He could still hear his brothers' screams. He could still see their faces burning before his eyes. He reached the road, and finally stopped. He looked around. The screams had stopped. The heat had left his body. But then another sound came. Yelling. The guards. They were following him. He tried to keep running. But he just couldn't. He was finished. He fell on the road, sliding himself along as quickly as he could. He hadn't run this far to be caught by the guards. He stopped. He could go no further. He looked up and saw the blue sky, cloudless and free. The last thing he heard was a roaring engine. The guards never found his body.

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Whats the difference imbetween a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer an the other is a watermelon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops