So a female ant walks into a bar... and someone steps on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q:Why is the WMBA so unsuccessful? A:Barely anyone watches it

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +2

While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Sorry not thinking here, of course I will arrive sooner, give me 20 minutes or so (got to scout the area, you never know) As for coding, there is no hidden meaning so yeah... That is probably some "Neronist" coding format I never knew of I am using so well. Cant drive like this, so I will use a cab and wait for you at the back seat or something, I will let the Taxi cab honk the numbers of code here so you can come out knowing its safe. I sincerely thought you where at the home, according to our coordinates you are... Dont tell me that bastard built some basement over there, wow! I really miss him now, if nothing else because I would have liked a wine cellar made in less than... Sorry, ill be there asap, 20 minutes or less, nah, believe me, "fancy" is the least of things I want, and I wont be changing my mind anytime soon. See ya. I am sincerely surprised you even remember me, then again I look a lot like your crush. Abel (in case you where wondering, this is not my name either, but you get the picture by now)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the black man go to the gym? Because he was severely fat and would live a short life if he didn't lose weight.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you know if your teacher is gay? Ask him if he is gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bucket of poop. The Mexican is a human the bucket of poop is an object filled bodily wastes.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Show me the money! Said the man last wednesday.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why can't Bob go to the store? He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down

Steven hawking walks into a bar. a.w j.p

thumb_up thumb_down

donald................duck for president

thumb_up thumb_down

what is blue purple and has wings what i dont know that why i am asking you

thumb_up thumb_down

Help iv fallen and i can get up -blarg

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the rabbi say to the priest? I respect your religion but have faith in judiasm.

thumb_up thumb_down

KNOCK! KNOCK! Who's there?! ... Ditched again!

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the train say at the party Thomas isn't really dumb ass

thumb_up thumb_down

Justin Bieber is so gay he dates girls

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the black person use to peel a banana? His hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you get a Jewish man out of a pool? Ask him politely, for I'm sure he's a pleasant and reasonable fellow.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How many jews can fit into a car? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, 6 million in the ash tray

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Jesus: I will return. Hitler: Well I am back... Nazi as in Nazireth Bush: As I said I was elected by Gawd. Me: What? What about me? Seriously why did I put myself here? Id have three bullets with them in a room, and id still shoot you six times.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops