What's red and eats tulips? Your face!

What's worse than opening your pantry door and finding nothing desirable to eat? Repeated high voltage electrical shocks to the anus.

drugs sex alcohol are as funny as AIDS

Knock knock. Who's there? Come in.

What do you get when you cross a turtle and a kangaroo? A hybrid combination of the two that is characterized by specific traits of both animals.

Whats black and has no ring? LeBron James

What did the Ginger get for Christmas? A: a soul

2 guys get into a fight over a girl.....the girl walks out

An iman, a rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. It's not the same bar. They feel uncomfortable mixing together and this makes me sad.

Jon has 50 chocolate candy bars Jon eats 45 of them. What does Jon have? Diabetes...

there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one being irish and the other chinese. now they both happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. so why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china, where as the chinese man had not committed any crime.

What did the man say to his brother? Nothing, because he just died in a tragic car crash.

A man walks into a bakery and buys a doughnut. He then starts to drive home when he realised that he'd forgoten to eat the doughtnut and has to returne to do so.

What kind of car does Yoda drive? Nothing, Yoda doesn't exist.

What's red and smells like cherries. Cherries

Is this the krusty krab? NO! THIS IS red lobster, how many i help you?

Your mom.

What did the boy do when he got an F on his English paper? -Laughed.

Snarf Nuggets

What did the fat girl say to the good looking guy? Nothing. She didn't have the self-confidence to go up to him.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

Knock knock Who's there Ted Bundy

hickory dickory dock no one cares

Why did the black guy still have price tags on his clothes? He forgot to take them off.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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