What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

Why don't women need watches? Because they probably have a cell phone, which works just as well.

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I am a dog.

Why was the man full? He ate a meal.

Where can you find elephants? That depends on where you leave them.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

Your mom is so fat, it is unlikely that she will be able to survive the month without experimental liposuction and heart surgery, and even then her outlook is bleak. I am so sorry.

You're*

A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back distinctly better at the Trumpet.

How you your turn a trashcan into a semi-automatic AK-47? You don't. But ask the irishman who just said "hello" to you.

Why did Billy go into the white van? Because his parents came to pick him up from school.

What is the best invention ever? Taking a crap reverse. So you can enjoy a nice bowl of aids.

Yoshy is gay and likes men. From Jarod ????

Let me tell you this really funny Dane Cook joke.

What do you call Michael? A homosexual person who is nice, however he is still gay.

What is the difference between a deer and a child in africa? Why does it matter? They're both being hunted.

How did you know it was bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? When his clock's big hand met the little hand, usually at 10 or 11, though sometimes later if he had a concert that night.

Youve got to spell the name right you dead dylan fuck

So a man was walking down the street with bananas in his ears when he saw one of his friends coming the other way. When they met up the one friend asked, "Hey you know you've got bananas in your ears?" To which the man replied "What? I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

whats the same about a spider and a grape? they both have eight legs, except for the grape.

Why did the little girl die Because she was kidnapped by a rapist, and defiled repeatedly, and then to get a ransom from her family the kidnapper slowly pulled out her fingernails and toenails, and sent them to the family the same thing happened with her fingers, toes, hands, feet, arms, legs, teeth, tounge, hair, and eyes, then she died of blood loss after nearly 2 months of torture.

I may have alzheimers...Thank god I dont have alzheimers

test

what is yellow and cant swim? a bull doser what has 4 wheels and is green? grass, i lied about the wheels what is worse than finding a worm in ur apple? having cancer

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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