What do you call a man with 3 arms, 6 ears, 9 fingers, and a red clown nose? His name.

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Why did the girl fall She didn't she was eaten by a bear

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Once upon a time, I was a Muslim.

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Why was Steve hungry? Because the last time he ate was yesterday.

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Q: How do you make a black man nervous? A: Threaten to kill his family.

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What's brown, dirty, and smells like feces? Feces

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If I threw a regular snowball at a random snowman, would my action directly result in the increase of the snowman's size or would it rather have caused to snowball to become substantially larger in succession? Only a few people could answer that question. Not all of us are actually philosophy aficionados after all.

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There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

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knock knock piss off

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What do you call a dolphin that drives a Mercedes Benz? Nothing. Dolphins can't drive.

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Why was the old man on the floor? He fell

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what do you call the man making meth in his basement? the police to stop inappropriate behavior from reaching the children of society.

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What do you get if you cross a Kangaroo and a Sheep? They are too entirely different species and cannot be crossbred.

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Why did the woman start crying? She didn't have woman's rights... That's right, get back in the kitchen

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What do fat kids and whales have in common? Ruth burden

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How do you make a plumber sad? Steal his plums.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your landlord. Get the hell out.

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? -Its a chicken you dumb shit.

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Your momma's eyesight is so weak she needs a pair of glasses to see properly

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Roses are red Violets are tits I like tits Tits

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What's worse than AIDS? Buying the anti-joke book

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Two cannibals are eating a clown, one says to the other: "Maybe we should rethink our ways of life and realize why animals are on this planet"

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What do you do when a hispanic man takes your wallet? Ask him to please give the wallet back to you

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Chuck Norris didn't count to infinite twice. He can't even do it once.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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