- Anti Joke

What's worse than an explosion? A nuclear explosion.

HOW LONG is a Chinese name?

Why do white people go to black people's yard sales? Because they know they sale good quality stuff -Travis

How did Princess Diana cross the road? Through the windshield

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Can you pass the soda? Sure.

Why was the kid crying? Cause he had a frog stapled to his face.

Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles roll ed into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full.. The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes.’ The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.The students laughed.. ‘Now,’ said the professor as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things—-your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions—-and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.. The sand is everything else—-the small stuff. ‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ he continued, ‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and mow the lawn. Take care of the golf balls first—-the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand. One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented. The professor smiled.... And than he shove all the items up his ass

what did the blond do after she turned 18? Reelected Obama.

A Jew! Bless you.

A women's opinion.

I like dogs. Lots of dogs. Meow.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

What is the difference between a Mexican man and a bench? The Mexican man is a human being, thus being sentient and able to partake in social activities, such as receiving education, meeting people, getting a job, raising a family, and getting somewhere in life. The bench cannot do anything. It is inanimate and is meant to be sat on.

why did the frog cry? Because he didn't get a message

Q: Why is my friend gay? A: Because i slept with him.

your momma is so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes

why was the girl screaming? She was getting raped from behind by her dad.

Why don't chicken wear underwear? Because their peckers are on their face

Whats plastic and little boys turn it on? A game cube, and Michael Jackson. Well maybe not anymore since hes dead...

Roses are Red Toilets are Blue Get out of Me way I Need to POO!

What did the alcoholic say to his priest? I'm Drunk. The priest says "Your drunk go home". He barely makes it.

When is your birthday? November 13 what year? every year

There was a little girl who went on a walk. She was about 8 years old. An old green stationwagon pulled up to the little girl. He said,"Need a ride?" She shook her head and climbed in. 2 weeks later she was found dead in a ditch. She was raper and murdered

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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