sticks and stones may break my bones but hemophilia will make me bleed to death

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what's worse than a kitten scratching your arm? A dead baby scratching your arm...

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A man finds a lamp in the desert. He picks it up and dusts it off. The lamp becomes cleaner.

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A:Knock Knock, B:Who's There? A:Orange, B:Orange Who? A:Orange Banana.

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Guy1:should I ask this girl out? Guy2:NO!!!!!!! Guy1:????????

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mary had a little lamb its fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went this joke has no punchline

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Why did the Mexican choose the blue marker over the green one? Because he his favorite color was green, and it was Opposite Day.

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Why did Jesus cross the road? He didn't. He's dead.

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Hey, I just met you... No, I'm your brother. You've known me for 30 years. You must have memory loss.

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Joe: it says gullible on the ceiling Jack: yes, I wrote it -by Ross

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how do you find a ghost? shoot yourself.

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an indian woman works at seven eleven. this is because her son has one leg and she needs to pay pay for all the medical needs.

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Take this and put it- No.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? It's the police, they ask the questions.

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Why did the world not end in 2012? Because the Mayans were drunks.

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What is the meaning of Life, the Universe, and Everything in it? I'm not sure at rhe moment, but it will take aproximately seven and a half million years of thinking for me to find out.

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? No Neither has he.

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Knock knock Whos there? No one, your wife was just in a fatal car accident and died on the scene, so your kids had to walk home from school instead of being picked up. Your son was captured by a sexual predator, and your daughter tried to run from them, and now she's under the wheels of the bus going round and round.

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Why did the chicken lay an egg? Because she got knocked up.

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what did the asain have for dinner? A: rice

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why was the boy's face burnt? a horrible accident involving a lighter and some hairspray

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1.....2.....3.....boom you died

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What did the lemon say to the turtle? If you think the lemon said anything, something is wrong with you.

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Here is an opposite. Black Santa Claus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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