raisin boogers

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What is an old ginger lady's favorite type of bread? Whole wheat.

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whats the difference between jimmy saville and a horse? jimmy has a bigger cock

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What causes floods? Too much water.

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What did the black man say when he ate a Hershey bar? Delicious

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Emergency call: - Please help, my little son swallowed a condom! 5 minutes later - It is ok, I found another one.

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What did the orphan wish for Christmas during world war II? Parents What did he get? Bombed.

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Why does the man with no legs call for help? because he woke up to find that he had no legs.

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How do u get a baby to stop choking? Take ur c*ck out if its mouth!!!

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What's big and fat? An obese man.

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What the did the man say to his boss? You are my boss.

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Little Justin's bike has a flat tire has a flat tire. He asks his dad to inflate it. "Sure Justin I can fix that for you." Said his father. But he overinflates the tire, causing the tire to explode and ignite the chemicals. The house burns to the ground, killing Justin and his parents. The fire then spreads and the hole city burns. 50,000 people die.

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How do you make a frog stand still? Shoot it.

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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What's worse, a dog dying or cancer? The Holocaust.

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Why did the black men chase the chicken ? Because it wondered out of a barn.

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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What would the funeral home do without a dead person? Wait until the next appiontment

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How many penises is one metric butt-load. Oh God I hope you don't know the answer.

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Andy Carrol

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brandon ya twwat

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When someone throws a rock at you What do you say? A:Oww

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There was a man sinking in quick sand. He looked in the sky and said, "God, if you spare my life, I'll be a great person and believe in you all my life." He died.

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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