How do you make a plumber cry? Tell him that Luigi beat him to the princess

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you get when you cross an orangatang with a grizzly bear? Nothing, they just walk past each other unless the bear eats the shit out of the monkey then feeds it to her cubs

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Rigo your a stupid ass

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why can't you give a diabetic a cookie? Due to the lack of Insulin produced in the Pancreas, the sudden spike of sugar into the blood stream may send the person into a diabetic coma, which good possibly result in the amputation of a limb.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Chickens like to wander around.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Two men walk into a bar. You think the second man would have seen it.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: What do you do when you meet someone new? A: You don`t know and expect me to do so? Get a life!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How many licks did it take for the little boy to get to the center of the Tootsie Pop? Three, and then he choked and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A dyslexic paraplegic walks into a bra

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What was the pirate's favorite letter W

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Chicken penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the bird say on twitter? Tweet tweet.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the black man say to the white man? Hi im phill

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you talk to a mentally challenged person? You use words in a sequential order that would make sense grammatically

thumb_up thumb_down +7

>posts joke >mistaken for anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexic Assosiation.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? No amount of them could ever figure it out. They all tremble with fear in the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's black and blue and lives in a kitchen? A 1940's housewife.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did Little Timmy fall off of his bike? Because he was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator. Knock knock Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

"Knock, Knock," a man called out. A child threw open the door and peered out at him. "Why didn't you just knock instead of saying 'knock knock'?" Flustered, the man couldn't come up with an answer, and the child promptly closed the door, locked it, and returned to her previous activities.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Who wants pizza crusts?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops