How are trees and friends alike? They are both subject to fall when struck with an axe.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Provolone

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A person expresses their opinion online. Another person thanks them for sharing their opinion but kindly disagrees, then he wishes the other person to have a good day.

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Why did Miley Cyrus have to buy a new tour bus? The old one stopped twerking.

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What do giant panda bears eat? giant bamboo

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What did one computer say to the other? 100111010100100111001010010001110101110010100010101011010011010010111000010101100100100100001101010000011111010010011010100110101001010100101010101010100101011010010010101010110010110010100100010101010101010

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Kim Kardashian got a job.

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WHat did Helen Keller get for Christmas? an ipod

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Terry Stockton wasn't really hit.

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Why did the 16 yearold pregnant girl cross the road? To get to the abortion center

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What is green and looks like Grass? A painting of grass

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What is funny and has three legs? Not the Holocaust.

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your momma is so fat that she thinks someone hugs her each time she passes through a door

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what do you call a gay guy Ej

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How did the girl with no arms fall out the window? I pushed her.

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Why didn't the poor man buy a candy bar? He wasn't hungry.

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Knock knock. Come in.

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milly, milly, milly, cat

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Why are Asians so good at mathematics? Practice.

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"Did you eat your veggies?" asked the shark, sarcastically.

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There are 100 men enjoying a cruise to celebrate an important contract going through at their place of employment. The boat then suffers a major malfunction and tragically sinks to the bottom of the ocean, miles from any land masses. Not a single man died, how is this possible? They all used the lifeboats supplied on the boat and followed the standard procedure to deal with such a crisis.

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Why did the cat bite its owner's? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

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A married couple lies in bed, making out. They must really love each other.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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