Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

What's big, black and hard to swallow? A bowling ball.

Doctor: "I'm sorry, but your son has Hepatitis B. Asian Parent: "Why he has Hepatitis B? Why he not get the Hepatitis A plus?"

Cleveland winning something

Q: Ask me how far have you gone with a girl? A: Mexico

What did the little boy say after he was pushed off the cliff? Nothing. He died, therefore, he is incapable of speaking.

What did the dog say to the mouse? Cat

You know what they say about men with big feet? Big penis.

Roses are grey, violets are grey, I am color blind.

sit on your hand until it goes numb and then touch yourself.

Waht do chinease people and gambling machines have in common? They both say chink chink chink chink chink chinck

How do you stop someone from simply copying an already posted anti-joke? No, seriously, how do you?

Q: Why didn't the mexican get into the bathtub? A: He was already clean

Me-Whats long and hard and full of seaman Him-a submarine Me-No dumb ass a dick

can people thumb up the evil dead statment below please... its important to me. (and the cup joke below) thanks people , ur great.

Nicholas Salek did not write the message below. It was a joke one of his mates played!!

what did one black man say to the other black man? hello

why cant monkeys swim? cause they dont have staberlizers.

Q.What do you call a black man flying a plane? A. A black pilot you racist bastard

roses are red violets are blue oranges are......

What did the boy do when he struck out in his little league game? He was very upset and contemplated not playing the game anymore.

Last night I had a Chinese By that I mean I abducted some Chinese people and ate them

What makes a catholic priest happier then a visit to the penn state locker room? Introducing Jesus to people and them accepting him as their savior.

How do you kill a Mexican? Rupture its vital organs like any other organism ,but murder is wrong and should not be done under any circumstance

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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