How do you keep a puppy warm? You throw it in the fire...

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding! Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, oceans and beaches are both not alive, thus incapable of speech and feeling emotions

Why did the beachball get sad after it was deflated? Beachballs don't have emotions.

Q: What did Robin Williams say to the young boy? A: Nothing, He is dead

What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

-Wanna hear a joke? -Not really -Oh

a guy jumped out of a plane...he died

whats long and green? weed

if life gives you lemons, throw them at pedestrians

What's worse than a dead baby? 2 dead babies

how many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? usually one but depending on the severity of the patients' case the lightbulb will be changed by a person who is willing to offer their assistance as to prevent any form of accident taking place.

A player under the tag "KiTcHeNGuRLxGaMerZ143" got a message after finishing a map on call of duty. "lol ur good."

What did the man say after falling off the bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a terrible and painful death on impact.

why do woman travel in packs? because men don't travel like the sisterhood in the traveling pants

What do you call a blue baby at the bottom of a pool? Dead.

I win an iPad for pooping on someone's head Answer- We have a muddaf**kin winna

Knock Knock It's the police, im afraid your wife has been killed in a horrible car accident.

"My foot is killing me" "no, actually it's that noose around your neck"

So there was this Afghan with a backpack on a train... he was going to work.

What's better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

Welcome to die!

Roses are black Violets are black Im Helen Keller WWWHHAATTTTT!?!?

A guy walks into a bar. He was an alcoholic and it was destroying his family.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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