what do you call a fish with no eyes fsh

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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*knock knock* "who's there?" "me, the person who knocked..duh"

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What did Santa Clause say to Rudolf? Nothing. Santa's not real.

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What do men and women have in common? They're both respected members of society, besides women.

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What do Texans call cows? Cows. Calling them almost anything else would be utterly illogical.

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A black man walks into a bar and is proptly told to leave. He proceeds to sue the bar owner, then buys the bar and turns it into a community center that helps at risk children.

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What do a platypus and Obama have in common? A brain, except for Obama.

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You know whats retarted? people with down syndrome.

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What's the anonymous name for vampire hunters? The KKK.

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whats the difference between a white kid a nd a puerto rican kid? one smells fine and the other one smells like he walked out of a butcher shop that sells cigars and cheap prostitutes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It didn't, some dude ran it over.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo Boo hoo? Boo hoo your parents are dead.

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What do you call a ostrich with no legs? Damn, that's funny.

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What's worse than aids? Super aids.

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how much is a microwave full of dead babies? a fridge full of dead puppies.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Why did the the chicken cross the road? Escape.

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Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb Mary had a little lamb and the doctor was surprised

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Once upon a time, I was a Muslim.

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and broccoli? A lot.

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What's one thing good about cancer? (make them guess) Nothing you fricking prick!

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Your mother was a hamster, And your father smelt of ElderBerries!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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