What do you get when Chuck Norris meets Chuck Norris? A bad joke.

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More mindfuck "government hypnosis edition": What can doctors possibly do in order for you to wait enough for them to come to help you? They call you "their PATIENT!" Moral: So be patient and wait, oh thee brainwashed.

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Johnny had 100 chocolate bars. He ate 95 and gave 3 to his friend. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes

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Whats white and sticky? Rotten milk.

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What did my wife say when I asked her to pick up some milk on her way home from work? OK

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What's the difference between a Justin Beiber concert and a hedgehog? With a hedgehog, the pricks are on the outside, but in a Justin Beiber concert, the pricks are on the inside.

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What's worse than being a ginger? Being a soulless ginger

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Farmers are outstanding in their fields

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why did the feminist cross the road? To suck my D***

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What do you call a dirty black person? Unhygienic

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What's green and has four wheels? A dolphin. I lied about it having four wheels. I lied about it being green. I lied about the whole thing.

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How do you confuse Helen Keller? You don't. She's dead.

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Biting into your dog and finding a worm.

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Sometimes I hope into bed and pretend I'm a carrot!!!!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This doesnt rhyme, Microwave.

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A tree walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the log face?".

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Three blondes are stranded on an island. They all die from starvation.

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Who could be happier than a kid at a candyshop? A necrophiliac in a morgue

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Its a bird! No, it's a plane! Oh... so it is.

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The Holocaust.

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What's the difference between a red Ferrari and a pile of deal babies? The red Ferrari is not in my garage right now.

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why was the boy sad...because scooby doo shot him with a harpoon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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