Once upon a time, I was a Muslim.

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Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb Mary had a little lamb and the doctor was surprised

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and broccoli? A lot.

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Why was Newton surprised when the apple fell on his head? Because he was sitting under a pear tree.

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What's one thing good about cancer? (make them guess) Nothing you fricking prick!

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What swims in the ocean? Fish

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? Physical abuse.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Stop shitting in my garden

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whats funnier than hugos penis? Nothing!!!!

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this is an anti joke THIS IS NOT A JOKE O:

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Why is Kony hated by the kid with ADHD? Hey look a kid being raped while watching his family getting killed.

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Q: What's bigger than a volcano? A: Earth

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What's yellow and highly dangerous? Shark-infested banana pudding.

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Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

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What did pikachu say when his trainer was murdered? Pikachu.

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What's worse than waking up next to an ugly girl? Waking up, sealed in a coffin which is floating on a raft traversing through shark-infested waters. Oh, and the raft is on fire.

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In Soviet Russia, millions of innocents died due to the oppression.

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why did the chicken cross the road? well he usually takes the bus to his job but he missed it so he had to walk. Unrelated to this, he works at KFC

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On a scale of 1 to drunk how ten are you?

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What can you eat that comes in all different flavors. Chex mix, I bet you thought it was women but its not its chex mix

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When Nicki Minaj wrote her song "Stupid Hoe" she was sublimminally talking about her self.

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How do you make an anti joke? You ask a question that could have a presumably amusing answer, but make the joke less amusing by stating an obvious answer, therefore completely bamboozling the victim of the anti joke, and making you seem like a man that has a lot of common sense.

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Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

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Where did Ann go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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