how many jews can you fit in a volkenswagen? 2 jews in the front 2 jews in the back 15 jews in the ashtray

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What did the statue say to the other statue? Nothing, statues cant speak.

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why was joe in hospital with facial disorder? his mum hit him with a fridge

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What is the square root of 69? 8.306623863

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Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no legs.

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Why did the boy die? He got shot in the face repeatedly.

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A young gay man comes out of the closet to his conservative, Christian parents. Everything went better than expected.

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Whats Black and blue My wife after i beat her ass.

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A white man and woman are married and the wife becomes pregnant. However, the wife has been having an affair with an African American man. The baby turns out to be white and so the woman was very fortunate or else the husband would have figured it out for sure.

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The WNBA.

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It was a dark night, I was walking home from the shops in town, The wind was whistling through my damp hair, My spine tingled and i tucked my hands under my stinking pits. I felt like someone was watching me, I walked faster the breath was warm on my kneck i turned around. It was gary glitter he pulled down my pants and gave me the best sucky i ever had. We kissed and i tasted the cheese from my knob. In all garry glitter has a giant knob

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You's so ugly you should consider facial reconstruction surgery if it's covered by your insurance.

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In Soviet Russia, it is the largest country in the world. A lot of the parts are uninhabitable though.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 ? because 7 is black.

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What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

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GONNA

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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Why was the Mexican in pain? Someone hit him with a frying pan 5 times across the face.

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ass in my face ? no

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How do you like your eggs in the morning? -Poached or Fertilised?

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Roses are red Violets are blue... No they are not they come in many different colors from cross breeding and different environments.... YOU ARE WRONG

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Three politicians walk into a sports bar. Suddenly, everyone is watching the Stanley Cup playoffs.

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What do you call a black midget with no legs and has 11 fingers? A human being

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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