If there are 50 oranges and 50 waffles tied to a fence post. How many cow utters does it take to shit green? urine.

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A man walks into a bar. He is then rushed to the emergency room for severe blunt force trauma to the head and multiple cranial fractures. After years of mental therapy the man re-gains full cerebral capabilities and is extremely cautious to keep an eye out for potentially dangerous bars that present a threat to his fragile reconstructed skull.

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What is worse then North Korea trying to blow up everybody? Peter Griffin twerking.

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Wanna hear a joke? The WNBA

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmicist.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse doesn't reply because horses don't speak. However, he is confused and scared by the unfamiliar surroundings. Trying to escape, the horse breaks his leg. The horse must be put down.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Why did the blonde fail her driving test? She was paralyzed and had down syndrome.

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What do you call this? A sentence in English.

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What is James Miller's real name? James Miller.

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I created darkness. God created the stars. God created the bee. I created the wasp. God created the child. I banged your mother. Moral: Soon my wings of darkness shall destroy your very own star, these words seem empty now, so I will fill them with true meaning and purpose as I will give the same to you the day the sky brightens no more.

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When is a tree not a tree? When it's a rock.

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Q. Why did the 8 year old girl scream and cry when she was raped? A. I no idea either. I drugged her and taped her mouth closed.

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What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? Their ancestral heritage

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Rim Ram Ree, Kick him in the knee, Rim Ram Rass, Kick him in the other knee

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What do you call a dolphin on a unicycle? You need medical help

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what did the girl who's father was murdered do at her wedding? not have a father daughter dance.

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I am a nigger.

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whats red and and smells like blue paint red paint

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How do you get pikachu on a bus? Rape his wife and point a gun to his head and tell him that he'd better get on the damn bus before you shoot him. Btw sorry if I just double posted. I am on an iPad at school.

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Wanna hear something funny? Sure. Okay,cool

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What do you do with a pickle jar full of semen? Use it for gel, because it took so long to collect it all, and you're frugal person who believes in recycling.

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knock knock. Who's there? The delivery man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops