Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? John Simons. This joke lacks a punchline. Yes, yes it does.

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Why can't Billy ride a bike? Because he's a fish

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Wanna hear a joke? Denver Broncos.

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PENIS

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Why is John gay? Because he enjoys the penis

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Roses are red Violets are blue Does this cloth smell like chloroform to you!

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How many 1 ft dwarfs does it take to climb up a 55 ft ladder? Only one. It's just a ladder. All you gotta do is climb up it.

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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A little girl had a sleepover with her friends. They watched a movie, then went to bed at a reasonable time. /

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What did the door say to the hand? Please stop caressing me!

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Whats big brown and sticky A sappy oak tree

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why is john so fat years of over eating

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Whats brown,looks like a.dike,and is a whore. Marcella

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What do you call a person who is 6 feet under? Lost.

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Your friend is so retarded I am getting a bit worried and his mother should take him to get tested for mental retardation.

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Women's rights

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Why did you insult me and then punch me in the face? The hell if you care anymore, I killed you straight after. Neo-Nero. (Rest in peace Nero7 better known as The Moral Man, I hope I can one day live up to your greatness.) Moral: "Keep your spirits up, we are all going to die sometime, but life means nothing if we lose faith in ourselves and each other" Moral 2: "Nero Septimus, that will be my first and last moral that made a figment of fucking sense, if you are watching from whatever comes from life, I know that this is what you would have done, but just so you know and always wanted for us that followed you, I am doing this for my own goddamn fucking self, respects... Now if your ghost is still watching, get the fuck out of my room you damn cripple, and know that your arm is somewhere in the basement because its so goddamn bad ass that it fucking freaks me out, and so fucking heavy that I think you where some sort of superhuman, now gtfo, as you taught us, we cant focus on the goddamn afterlife, if we are gonna get the best out of life and the present, adios amigo"

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why did the chicken cross the road? the holocaust

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Q. You know what sucks A. Being an orphan

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Guess what my grandma told me yesterday.. Nothing she's dead.

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A white man and a black man enter a public toilet. They both start to pee, and the white man looks over to the black man. He is dissappointed to find that the blackman's penis is not large according to stereotype, and then feels embaraased at his latent homosexuality. They both leave, never seeing eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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65% of people are starving 32% are over 190 lbs. Think about it

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Whats bloody and wrinkly? Your nans fanny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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