Q: how much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A: 14

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Two Penn-State Advisors walk into a butt.

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I like my women the way I like my coffee: Without a penis.

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How did the blind man eat his soup? With a spoon. Despite no vision, the man could feel the shape of what he was touching.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pilot.

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This one time at band camp....

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What did the nazi say to the jew? im gay

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Why couldn't the 1 year old talk? It's a 1 year old, idiot, it can't!

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roses are red i have a phone nobody texts me forever alonee lol

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(insert command here) Oh yeah, well I want world peace.

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I share two rooms with my mother.

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What did the carrot say when it was thrown out of an airplane? Nothing. It's a carrot.

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A Jew walks into a bar The bar owner looks at a gang of punks in the back and shouts "YOU! GET OUT!" The Jew leaves the bar.

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I tell an anti joke!.

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Bear walks into bar and says to eagle may I have a................... drink eagle says why the long pause hohahahohahahohaha

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If a man has a gun, but no arms or legs, is he armed?

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ecks! why zee?

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Why are you reading this? You should be taking a shower, you smell like crap.

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pickle sniffer

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So I was eating pancakes in my driveway...or were they waffles?

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? In this situation, the minority.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Yo momma so fat when god said let there be light he said get the fuck out the way!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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