Steve: Hey ask me if Im a Pelican. Bob: Are you a pelican? Steve: YES.

What do you call the man who graduated medical school last in his class? Doctor

What do you call a Mexican on a boat? A sailor

why did the plane crash? the pilot was a loaf of bread.

I like pancakes. I like pancakes. We have no pancakes

why did little johnny scream. he was getting torn to pieces

Why did the cow have a pain in his stomach. It has testicular cancer.

Why we in a Falln tank!!!? Be cause the plane exploded!!!!!!!

Knock knock Who's there? An elf. An elf who? An elf who wants to be a dentist.

No, we are all different, none of us are the same, you however, have no match, your ability to think influence and inspire even today, is unmatched. It is he who is unmatched, who stands alone.

Why did the fat kid drop his Mcdonalds? Because he had a stroke.

Why did the girl put on make-up and perfume? Because she was ugly and smelled bad.

knock knock Who's there? because 7 ate 9

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has been sexually abusing 6 for all his life

What do you call a man with a cigar in his mouth. A person with bad health and dirty teeth.

Whats the differance between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? This isn't a car

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

what happens when a Texan see's a black guy? he says howdy

What's long and hard and looks like plastic? A plastic baton.

Paul howley can't drive, phahahaha

Q: What is the difference between a Ginger and a shoe? A: A shoe has a sole

how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

How do gay guys have sex with women?? They dont, they are gay.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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