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An Irishman walks into a bar. He orders whiskey. An American enters the same bar. He orders a beer. A blonde Frenchwoman enters the same bar. She says "Gimme whatever the Irisman ordered! Double it! He's cool!" She started talking to the American

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Your mama's so poor, that it's hard for her to pay her bills.

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Why was the boy sitting alone? Because all his friends died.

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A man walks into a bar. He is genetically predisposed to alcoholism, and it's destroying his family.

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What's green and has wheels? PAIN!!! I lied about the green and the wheels.

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What did the Mexican man say to the American man? Nothing. Neither of them spoke the same language.

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Jim and Dave walk into a bar. The bartender says, "what'll it be?" Dave is black.

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What's the best thing about 27 year old's? There are 20 of them.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind

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if youre reading this its probably because youre on anti-joke.com

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What do you have if you have a green ball in your right hand and a green ball in your left hand? Two green balls.

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Chuck Norris doesn't answer the phone - he doesn't have one at the moment

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Hi? No!!!!!

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How do you starve a blonde? You tie them up and deprive them of any food.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? "THE chicken" indicates a definite article, you really would have to specify which chicken you're talking about so i can identify whether i was there at the given moment that the chicken tried to cross the road and to ask it his reason for attempting it.

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

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Why did the blonde fail her driving test? She was paralyzed and had down syndrome.

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Wanna hear a dead baby joke? Of course you don't. they're sick and disgusting and enjoyment of one merits only the deepest of society's hatred and scorn.

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What is the defference between an apple and a banana? Horses, because vests have no sleeves.

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A man using Apple Maps walks into a bar. Or maybe a hospital... or possibly a church.

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Whats black and crying after 10 minute my wife's eyes when she left the kitchen

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A man walks into a bar, and says "ow."

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Why do black people log onto blackpeoplemeet.com? To meet black people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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