A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What did the white man say to the black man? Hello

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Q: what did the man say to the wall A: Nothing it's a wall therefore incapable of talking

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What's worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? 1 dead baby in 12 trash cans.

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I don't do cocaine I just like the smell

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A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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Why did a boy drop his ice cream? The Holocaust.

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A pedophile walks into a daycare

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Guess what? What? Idk. I just wanted to make u excited.

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Hey i just F****d you, And this is crazy, Delete my number, And keep the baby!

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A women in her kitchen hears a thud outside. Her husband fell off the roof.

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Did you hear about Judith? she was hit by a bus!

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Penal Dysfunction

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Why was the manspenis big Cause he was a lucky bastard

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Two men are sitting in a pub. One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.' The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidize her drug habit.'

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Have you heard about the Polish hockey team? They're not very good, but what they lack in skills they make up for in enthusiasm and good team spirit.

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What do you call a pen sitting on a counter? A righting utensil not being currently used.

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What's big and red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater!

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what do you call a screwdriver that thinks it'sa hammer? a screwdriver

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Why did the baby cry? Because his parents dropped him on his head.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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Thanks

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What is black and white and red all over the news paper of someone with tuberculosis

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Why can't Larry drive? Larry's a rock.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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