A duck sits down at a bar and orders a drink. After he finishes, he gets up to leave, when the bartender says, "Excuse me, sir, but you didn't pay for your drink." The duck turned around and said, "I'm sorry, I forgot." So he paid the bartender for the drink and left him a nice tip, and left the bar in a good mood.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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Why didn't the business man ever wear pants? He didn't have any legs.

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Ask me if I am a bus. Are you a bus? No.

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Q: What is 2 + 2? A: Beastiality

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Know what's worse than three bee stings? living every day in fear of your schizophrenic hallucinations

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A blonde woman walked into a bar. She ordered a scotch.

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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Boy: Mum... I got a hundred marks! Mother: That's good my son! Which subject was it? Boy: 30 for maths, 40 for english, and 30 for science.

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

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How many blonde's does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to hold the ladder and one to peel the carrotts

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Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock The person you are seeking is deaf and cannot hear the sound that is made when your knuckles come in contact with the door. Try calling next time..........

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take out the f in way. there is no f in way. I see what you did there.

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whats a willy? -brock

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A man goes to see his doctor and says "Doctor, I have a pain in my leg." The doctor replies "That's the least of your worries, I ran your blood test and you have AIDS."

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Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? People cross roads all the time, each for their own personal reasons. Questioning their motives is generally accepted as being unnecessary, as it is a relatively safe action as log as one is careful and heeds the laws of traffic.

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sticks and stones may break my bones but hemophilia will make me bleed to death

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Violets are not blue They are Violet

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What's a zombie's favourite dessert? I don't know, but I'll give you 50 bucks to go and ask one.

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What do you call a black man climbing a mountain. A mountain climber.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Mark Mark who? Mark Jennings. Oh hey, Mark, come in.

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Where did Susie go after an explosion? Everywhere

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what did the black man eat for dinner? a sandwich

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why was the boy's face burnt? a horrible accident involving a lighter and some hairspray

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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