What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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how did helen keller break her arm? reading at 100 miles per hour

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The original joke: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The anti joke, aka realistic edition: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT YAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH!" The ballon edition: Original: "Balloon! Watch out for that Cactus!" "What Cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..." (leaking air you slowmo) The anti-joke aka realistic version: "Balloon watch out for that pointy soda!" "What soda *pop*" Moral: None of these where the least realistic!

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How many cows does it take to put in a lightbulb? Well, you see, it depends how many cows it takes to put in a lightbulb.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. My mom went to the doctor and found out she has cancer, so when she told me, I was eccentric. That tree is green.

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Do you know what will hurt? Getting hurt.

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What do Molly and Sharon have in common? They both annoy me.

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How do you kill a polar bear? You melt the polar ice caps and take a rope and choke it till it is out cold. You then put a plastic bag over its head and throw it in the water.

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Why did the Jew wear a beanie while playing soccer? Because he shaved his head

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Jackson's dad told him to "play in the traffic".

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What do you get if you cross James Bond with Osama bin Laden? James bin Laden.

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What happened when the cow jumped over the barbed wire fence? Hopefully it made it over without lacerating its underbelly, thus causing fatal bleeding.

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How do you keep a blond in suspense?

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How do you know your sister is on her period? - Your dad´s dick tastes like blood.

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Why do you touch yourself at night? Because I do too

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. The muffins do not talk or move, because they not living.

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What is the difference between your mom and a cow? One is a 1,500 pound beast, and one is a human being.

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What does a blond see when she looks at a dog? A four legged mammal, refered to as canis lupus familiaris, or what is commonly known as a dog.

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Q Why did the man run away from his shadow? A He didn't it was physicaly impossible.

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What did Roadrunner name his car? Turbo Tax.

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(speaking to an orphan) knock, knock who's there not your parents

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[Insert Stereotypical Joke, And Insert Logical Answer Here] Anti - Anti-Joke

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What's green,has 4 legs and lives in a tree? A pool table

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what do you call an indian dating service? you dont call it anything there all arranged marriages.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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