Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A: One stops sucking when you slap it.

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- Are you thinking what I'm thinking B1? - No.

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Billy comes home from playing with his friend as he walks to his front yard he comes across his mother...she is dead on the floor his friend then says "im SO sorry your mom is dead but at least you still have your dad" Billy than replies "my mom is my dad" billy then is put into a foster home and spends years trying to recover from the fact that he is the freak offspring of a hermaphrodite

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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You are so ugly that plastic surgery may be an option for you to consider.

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What is worse than a bunch of babies stapled to a tree? A bunch of trees stapled to a baby.

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Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? In a desperate, but unsuccessful attempt to save his mothers life, as a serial killer pulled her into his van

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out it's an orange

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I'm a brony. I'm a brony. I'm a brony. Screw this shit, I'm not a brony anymore. I'm a man. I'm a man. Screw this too. I'm dead, not in bed.

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How do you get a Jewish man out of a pool? Ask him politely, for I'm sure he's a pleasant and reasonable fellow.

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A: how do u wake up lady gaga? B: you poke her face

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a person cries in the corner you go over to them and rape them

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"What happened to John after he got drunk 12 years ago"- police "I don't really don't know that question"- John Jr.

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How do dinosaurs pay their bills? They don’t, dinosaurs don’t have a capital system.

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There are two muffins in an oven. The first muffin says, "Is it just me, or is it getting hot in here?". The second one says, "Hey, look! A talkin' muffin!".

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Wanna hear a joke? Denver Broncos.

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wood cant chuck wood

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Here is a joke for you: minecraft -blarg

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My sister had a lemonade stand once. And one time, she spilled.

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Dory from Finding Nemo: "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy- Hey, I just met you."

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Uh, if I say that I am that girl, am I going to be safe?

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What's an Anti Joke?

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What did one paper bill say to the other? Did you hear about one of us getting replaced by a woman? It's like Bruce to Caitlyn!

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Q: What did Gaddafi get for Christmas? A: Brain Surgery

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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