Why was the light on in the house ? A. the owners were using it

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call it, he isn't coming. Posted By: Lram

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Person 1: Knock knock Person 2: Who is there??? Person 1: ..................................... Person 2: (Opens Door) Person 1: BOO i scared u and ding dong ditched u Person 2: Actually "Ding Dong Ditching" is when a one or more human beings search for a targeted house where they ring the door bell and run to a designated location to hide. After the resident opens the door to find out no one has stayed and waited, they close the door and the human beings quickly run up and repeat the task many as times until the resident finally catches them.

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What happened when the Mexican man contracted the muscles of his large bowel after a large meal? Shit made its way to his anus

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Have you seen Elton johns pet dog? Neither he's he.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Jameson: hey peter peter parker: what Jameson: do you know what my favorite kind of beans are Peter: no Jameson: van de camps

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So a priest, a rabbi, a blonde and a black person walk into a bar. The Bar Tender says, "Is this some kind of joke"

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What happens when you yell at people who have high blood pressure? They might get heart attacks & die.

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What do you call a black person with dandruff.... A lamington

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What do you call a black man with a job? An employee

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? Doormat.

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What do you call a baby with no arms nor legs? An infant lacking limbs.

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what does the sloth say to dylan sedgwick nothing dylan is the sloth

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i did your mom......a favor. by making you......... a sandwhich. i rubbed her pussy.........cat. she saw my dick.........tionary. I slapped her ass...........what i did.

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Q. Why is Italy shaped like a boot? A. Do you think they could fit all that shit in a tennis shoe?

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() () () () () () () ------ *__________* yo can go %$*# yourself =~~ 0

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why did the kid get in trouble. Because he put this up in typing class -charles hall aka chuckles

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Did you hear about the big Polish tragedy? There was a power outage in Poland's busiest shopping mall, People were stuck on the escalators for 4 hours. A woman gave birth in the elevator and died.

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A deaf, mute clown wearing nothing but a dead cat, a rainbow wig, and his own feces breaks into a couples home on April fools day. Then he murders them both because he is an escaped patient from an asylum for the criminally insane.

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Why does matt daly get confused for? A Penis

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A guy went to a haunted house on Friday the thirteenth… it gave him a small fright and he continued on with his day

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What do Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh have in common? They have the same middle name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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