Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? He had no arms… Why did he have no arms? Jimmy was a potato

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A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

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What did God say to Noah? "Hi."

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What is brown and sticky? Poop

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He threw it, because he had parkinson's!

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Bloody kids ...

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Your moms so poor that when she went to buy a bag of chips, she couldn't buy the bag of chips, because she didn't have enough money to buy the bag of chips

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Why did Eduardo cross the road. The same reason he crossed the border.

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i have a black person in my family tree he is still hanging

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Roses are Red Violets are plucked So are my nose-hairs Pretty disgusting

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What's the difference between an alcoholic and a drug dealer? An alcoholic is an extremely corrupted, and unhealthy living person. Though so is a drug dealer... They are both very harmful situations in many ways.

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Why did a duck cross the street? It didn't. It was hit by a car.

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Why did the milkman die? Because everyone dies.

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what dog doesnt have teeth? A horse.

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How did the bald lady die? Of cancer

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun.

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When crossing the river, why the old lady die? She was hit by a falling brick that fell from an airplane.

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knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock kock ding dong ding di-ding dong zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz sigh weeeeeeeeeewooooooooooooooooo zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz hey yo wake up zzz-oh-huh-what-whos there i've been yelling for like five minutes oh sorry jim will you let me in already all right

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Good to know tattletale, I remember hating you back then when you betrayed me, but I cant wait to meet you again. Anyway Nero, I am a girl, its not about sex with me, I just had to tell you, and hope you will take better care of yourself, I know you used to be worried about your looks, and I just want you to understand ill be there for you no matter what. Thanks for the kind words Nero, I know you mean them, you never hid the fact that you found me attractive, but while I did not understand then why you would ruin every nice moment by saying something cheesy or rude, I think I get it now... I know you need rest, but can I arrive as soon as possible? Ill just wait outside or something, I wont be a bother I promise.

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The term "shots fired" often reminds me of the time a couple of buddies had a drinking contest and I shoved a lit cigarette down the loser's throat

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man, a white man has lighter skin

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A lady with no legs walked..... never mind

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Fun fact: Steel wool comes from the fleeces of iron sheep.

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What's the difference between Hitler and Kim Jong Il? Hitler's German

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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