what do yo call two dog? dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q: Who are the fastest readers? A: 9/11 jumpers 200 stories in 5 seconds

thumb_up thumb_down +36

"How come dinosaurs don't talk?" " I don't know. Why?" " Because they're dead."

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's long and hard and looks like plastic? A plastic baton.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Shotest joke ever... Your dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Men don't cum twice easily. That's why Jesus hasn't been around for awhile.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did the computer say to the other computer? Nothing, computers can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +34

If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, how many does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why was the little boy late to church? He was getting raped by the priest. ....the priest was late too.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q: What did the prostitute say to the other prostitute? A: I have AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q: how many oxen does it take to row up the empire state building in half of a green canoe under the purple sun while eating a dead moose with no arms? A: Purple, because snakes have no elbows.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did I have sex with your mom? Because she was a beautiful individual with a fine taste in the classical arts. She also offered me a ride to her place for a delicious 3 course meal. Afterwards our romance blossomed and we decided to have sexual intercourse to show our mutual appreciation for each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the pimp do to his bitch? He thanked her and rewarded her for her years of dedication and preserverance

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A Man buys a Prius. Hated it.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- *Commits Suicide*

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the bus driver get arrested? Because he hijacked the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a black man riding a bike? Alan. He's studying environmental engineering at NYU.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q:What did the ginger get for Christmas? A: A soul...jk,hair dye

thumb_up thumb_down +32

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why was the white guy eating himself? He was a autocannibal.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why is six afraid of seven? There might've been a little shooting accident a few days ago which put his mother in the ER. If anyone asks go to a bar and think in your head why you would ask something like that. Let it sink in.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

why are asians eyes so slanted? because THEY WERE BORN THAT WAY!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why was the black man a victim of racial prejudice? because he was black

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops