Two muffins are in the oven, One says "Damn it, so hot in here," The other one says " Wow! Muffin which can talk!"

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Schroedingers cat walked into a bar... and it didnt.

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Shut up and stop laughing, Daddy's balls aren't gonna lick themselves.

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There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They were all of equal intelligence.

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What do you call the alarm system in a failing inner-city school? A dumbbell!

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Knock Knock Who's there? You have AIDS

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I like to rape cats.

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Q: What is harder than cleaning off baby bloodstains off a wall? A: Cleaning multiple baby blood stains off a wall.

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What is the saddest episode on tv ever? The live broadcast of the World Trade Center being destroyed.

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Who spends too much time on Anti-Joke? ...

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What's worse than dying? Dying poor.

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on how much you compress them.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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boo

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How do you stop a black guy from drowning? Take your foot off his head.

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Knock, knock Who's there? You're adopted...

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How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? There are many circumstances that could affect the outcome of the situation. One of them is whether or not the given people have or will soon obtain a ladder. In this case, the lightbulb could take more time than needed to be screwed in and effectively changed. Another key factor in the situation is the number of people. If there are enough people to reach the ceiling without a ladder, the lightbulb could be screwed in sooner or later than asked by the owner of the facility in which the lightbulb socket is installed. Finally, the height of the persons given is a crucial point in this situation. The people may be tall, thus allowing there to be fewer people needed. The people could be short and need a greater number of people than if the people were, perhaps, a bit taller. All in all, I'd say about 1-2.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -To. - To Who? -To whom.

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A: What time is it? B: Half past six.

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Why couldn't Timmy ride his tricycle? He was run over by a bus.

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what did the red towel and the blue towel say? Nothing because towels are inanimate objects and therefore can't talk.

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Whats the difference between an elephant and a tomato. You put tomatos in a salad.

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A Muslim walked out of a bomb shop.

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how do you get someone out of a chair? hit him with a shovel

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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